Chapter Ten - Put That Away
As much as I wish I could say that the totality of my identity is in Christ, it would not be true. Much of my identity and who I am is because of my family and culture that I grew up with. The same is probably true for you.
But stop and imagine with me for a moment. Imagine your culture is trash. Imagine your family is Trash. Trash is your very identity. You were born into trash, trash provided your life, sustained your life, IS your life. You live in and work in trash. You eat trash. You drink it. The trash clothes you, provides your shelter. It is all you have ever known.
It's where you were born and where you grew up. It's where you were running as a child, fell and scraped your knee, and ran to your mother to kiss away the tears. It's where your brother tickled you til your sides hurt. It's where most painful memories and joyous moments occurred. It's where you had your first crush. It's where your heart was broken. It's where your friend died. It is where you belonged.
Imagine! But I know you cannot. It is not a thing to imagine.
But then imagine you left. You're out! You made it! You are the first in three generations to leave! You make it through high school, and then to college. You have overcome so much, faced and conquered so many physical, financial, relational, emotional and psychological hurdles and insecurities to get where you are today.
But then imagine you are sitting in class. That college class you have worked so hard for. Imagine you have seated yourself at your desk, and you hear the rustling of books behind you; backpack zippers, and a small crackle as someone opens a granola bar. The wrapper falls to the floor.
"Someone put that trash away please." And you tense without thinking. Because you hear them say to put you away. Because are you not the Trash? Trash is who you are. You don't belong here in this class. You deserve to be put away, the voice whispers. You aren't good enough. Do they know you're nothing but a trash-child? Do they?! What will they do when they find out who you really are? You're nothing but a worthless piece of trash. What will they think of you when they find you? You aren't good enough to be here. Go away. You aren't worthy. Leave. You don't have what it takes to succeed. You're nothing but trash, remember? You are not worthy.
You fight this battle day in and day out. You are forever haunted by that voice, that whisper in your subconscious. You. are. not. worthy.
But stop and imagine with me for a moment. Imagine your culture is trash. Imagine your family is Trash. Trash is your very identity. You were born into trash, trash provided your life, sustained your life, IS your life. You live in and work in trash. You eat trash. You drink it. The trash clothes you, provides your shelter. It is all you have ever known.
It's where you were born and where you grew up. It's where you were running as a child, fell and scraped your knee, and ran to your mother to kiss away the tears. It's where your brother tickled you til your sides hurt. It's where most painful memories and joyous moments occurred. It's where you had your first crush. It's where your heart was broken. It's where your friend died. It is where you belonged.
Imagine! But I know you cannot. It is not a thing to imagine.
But then imagine you left. You're out! You made it! You are the first in three generations to leave! You make it through high school, and then to college. You have overcome so much, faced and conquered so many physical, financial, relational, emotional and psychological hurdles and insecurities to get where you are today.
But then imagine you are sitting in class. That college class you have worked so hard for. Imagine you have seated yourself at your desk, and you hear the rustling of books behind you; backpack zippers, and a small crackle as someone opens a granola bar. The wrapper falls to the floor.
"Someone put that trash away please." And you tense without thinking. Because you hear them say to put you away. Because are you not the Trash? Trash is who you are. You don't belong here in this class. You deserve to be put away, the voice whispers. You aren't good enough. Do they know you're nothing but a trash-child? Do they?! What will they do when they find out who you really are? You're nothing but a worthless piece of trash. What will they think of you when they find you? You aren't good enough to be here. Go away. You aren't worthy. Leave. You don't have what it takes to succeed. You're nothing but trash, remember? You are not worthy.
You fight this battle day in and day out. You are forever haunted by that voice, that whisper in your subconscious. You. are. not. worthy.
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The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
Romans 8:16-17
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